Eren asked:


BABY AND KIDS JOKES, PARENTING AND TEACHING, SCHOOL CHILDREN AND FAMILY HUMOR

(Based on author’s site www.geocities.com/chlsch)

Teaching is sometimes fun because of boy or girl, kids humor; family and parenting humor are mostly baby or kid, children jokes: funny kids jokes are often humorous parenting, teaching jokes.

One of the popular school pupils’ jokes is this: “Oh,” replied the school kid, asked if he found the semester examinations easy, “the questions were easy, all right; but the answers were so difficult!”
Kids humour is seen, also, in teaching children grammar: It was nearly the end of the school term, and it was obvious to a teacher that one of his young pupils still could not tell the difference between ‘went’ and ‘gone’ -she kept saying “I have went home.” The teacher asked the girl to stay behind and write fifty times ‘I have gone home’. She did, and added a note: “I have written fifty times ‘I have gone home’ and I have went home.”

In teaching and parenting, children interpret and tell! A teacher sent this note to the parents of the children in her class: “If you don’t believe everything that your children say that happened in class, then I won’t believe everything that they say that happened at home.”

Babies know little -most baby jokes are parent humour or wit: Remarked, “Isn’t your baby rather small..?” a teenage mother commented, “Well, I have only been married three months…”

Boy humour can indicate a schoolboy’s circumstances: “If you had a Dollar in one pocket,” asked the school teacher “and two in the other, of your coat,” “what would that be..?” A boy answered, “Someone else’s coat, Miss….”

Never enough pocket money influences girl humour too: “I knew all the time,” said one of the girls to her friends in a science class, “that the Pound coin would not dissolve in that chemical solution…” Asked how she knew, the *********** explained: “Well, if it was going to, the teacher would have used a penny coin, wouldn’t he..!?”

Parenting humour has a humorous reality for all mothers: A loved mother becomes a fallen woman when she returns home from shopping without any toys.

Children jokes and family humour often involve mothers: Asked if she said her prayers before she ate, a child replied: “No; my mother’s cooking isn’t that bad.”

Family jokes on kids humour involve fathers on teaching: When asked by his father if he liked his first day at school, a child exclaimed, “You mean I have got to go again, tomorrow!?”

Teaching is often fun with children’s funny assumptions: A school kid thought Joan of Arc was Noah’s wife.

Teaching and school kids jokes use nouns versus pronouns too: A school kid, when asked by the class teacher who invented the radio, replied: “Macaroni.”

Many baby jokes and parenting humour are based on names: A couple’s friend, upon being told that the expecting parents were considering naming their baby ‘Pat’, remarked “Pooh.. every ‘Tom, Dick, and Harry’ (John and Jane Doe) is called that.”

School humour and children jokes use kids’ innocence: Asked by his teacher why he was late, a child said that he saw a road sign on the way which read: ‘Go Slow!’

Kids are clever, the anecdotes of a hailed teacher (the late Orhan Seyfi Ari) tells of his: He forbade his youngest son, then a child, from going out without asking him for a period of time ~the child cleverly picked his time, whenever his father had a siesta, always with an excuse to justify it, woke him up to ask if he could pop out!

This is so in family humour also, as seen in family jokes: A teacher having asked the class to say a few words about someone who they had made happy, one of the children told about his aunt who he spent the weekend with and when he left was happy.

Parenting humour does not, always, include kids humour: In a university parenting research project to get academic data on how many parents knew where their children were, many of the telephone calls were answered by children who did not know where their parents were.

In kid jokes children’s vocabulary adds to kids humour: After teaching about the dark ages, and having told children of the many knights they had then, a teacher tested the class by asking why the dark ages were called so -a child answered: “Because they had many nights.”

Word meanings can be used, as in this university humour: “I am taking medicine at university,” said the student; his friend asked, “Is it doing you any good?”

Wordplay can be less direct, as in this college humour: Student humour defines ‘college’ with wit, as a fountain of knowledge where one quenches one’s thirst.

College jokes can be rather harsh also on teaching staff: The difference between good and bad lecturers is a nap.

Unlike college jokes, school jokes treat teachers gently: When a member of the teaching staff announced that she was going to marry the school caretaker, the head teacher remarked to other teachers: “He swept her off her feet…”

School jokes sometimes are about schools themselves: A humorous traffic sign put up by a school was this: ‘Use your eyes! Save the pupils!’

In parenting humour and kid jokes children are innocent: A school kid proudly showed his parents a gold star his teacher gave him -asked what it was for he explained that they all had to rest, and he rested best.

University humour allows ridicule as do high school and college humor: In a law school mock trial the student asked: “When you walked into the bar, did you clearly see Mr. A and Mr. B, together?”; and, answered affirmatively, continued: “And, where were you, at the time?”

In kids jokes, be it boy humour or girl humour, children are never stupid; in parenting, are cute: A bad report of a kid from his teacher upset his parents; “Why am I so?” asked the kid, “Is it my environment or is it hereditary?”

The author has a website at: http://www.geocities.com.com/eoa_uk



TOBY

Stacy Andell asked:


Six Pittsburgh Schools’ Teachers Honored for Excellence

Each year teachers across the state of Pennsylvania have the chance to win educational grants. Only teachers of excellence are considered then the best are chosen to receive the grants. The two thousand five hundred dollar grants are awarded by the Teacher Excellence Center. This year’s grant recipients include six Pittsburgh Schools’ teachers: Jennifer Ernsthausen, a third-grade teacher at Burgwin Elementary School in Glen Hazel; Karen M. Lewis, a first-grade teacher at Allard Elementary in the Moon Area School District; Sandra McWilliams, a second-grade teacher at Pleasant Valley Elementary School in Peters; Ron Sakolsky, a seventh-grade history teacher at A.E. Oblock Junior High School in Plum; George Savarese, a 10th-, 11th- and 12th-grade history teacher at Mt. Lebanon High School; and Jeffrey Schilling, a seventh-grade English teacher at Independence Middle School in Bethel Park. These teachers were not just chosen at random but had to submit essays and were judged in a variety of categories by peers, parents and students. The final decisions were made by a panel of top educators who had to choose from more than three thousand nominees and then interviewing over one hundred finalist. In addition to the $2,500 grant, each teacher was awarded a field trip for their classes to the Carnegie Science Center, the Pittsburgh Zoo & PPG Aquarium or the Senator John Heinz Pittsburgh Regional History Center.

Ten Pittsburgh Schools’ Teachers Gain National Certification
In the teaching profession the highest teaching certification that a teacher can hold is that of National Board for Professional Teaching Standards Certification. This is a much more rigorous process than that of state certification. Ten Pittsburgh School teachers have succeeded in gaining National Board Certification at the end of this school year. Many teachers and administrators consider this to be the profession’s top honor. In the purely volunteer process set by the National Board for Professional Teaching Standards, National Board Certification is achieved by participating in performance-based assessment that often takes up to three years to complete and examines the teacher’s or school counselor’s knowledge and accomplishments. The current number of National Board Certified teachers in the Pittsburgh Schools has risen to twenty-five.

Pittsburgh Women’s Service Club Announces Scholarships

The Zonta Club of Pittsburgh, a professional women’s

service organization, in cooperation with Pittsburgh Schools will award thirteen female students with scholarships. The Zonta Club is a group that aims to promote and unite successful women in fields such as business, academia, healthcare, government, social services and the arts through a commitment to service. The Pittsburgh chapter was chartered in 1934. Zonta International was founded in 1919 and now has over 35,000 members in seventy countries. The Pittsburgh area Zonta Club with the Pittsburgh Schools awarded three seniors and ten juniors with Amelia Earhart Awards and Scholarships. The ten juniors received Amelia Earhart Awards for exhibiting the ideals of Zonta by persevering to become contributing members of their schools and communities. Three seniors pursuing postsecondary education will receive two Amelia Earhart Scholarships and one Duquesne Light Amelia Earhart Scholarship of $2,500 each.



TERRY

Bopperella asked:


I have been doing some research and I am still left a few questions.

What exactly are the responcibilities of a substitute teacher (K-5 if that makes a difference)?

What are the education requirements for a substitute teacher (Duval County FL if that makes a difference)?

How many days per month can you plan on working as a substitute teacher?
Also, can subs work during the Summer at all?

DERRICK

Paragon School asked:




We’re here again, talking about shooting methods. We’ve previously covered Maintained Lead and Swing-Through. This month we’ll cover Churchill, an old and controversial shooting method.

Few have been able to accurately describe this method and how it works. But it does work and it has its advantages.

Churchill, like swing-through, relies on increased gun speed. Some proponents and teachers of this method will tell you to shoot right at the target. Which, of course, we know won’t work. But, strangely, it does! Because of the gun speed in the swing. While others may disagree, experience has shown me that Churchill is a reliable close range method, often ideally suited to flushing game like grouse, quail, woodcock and some pheasant situations. There is a sense of touching the target or shooting right at it when you pull the trigger. That very real sense of touch, however, begins to leaves us as the target distance crosses the 30 yard line. Inside 30 yards, fine. Over 30 yards and the instinctive, more intuitive strength of this method begins to break down—quickly—with shotstrings disappearing behind the target.

I recommend Churchill when the distances are closer, and when you have minimal time to shoot, like a short-window shot. Want to take a rabbit right off the trap? Consider this method. Facing an incoming that you can’t see until it clears the branches and quickly disappears over your head behind you? Churchill works!

It is better suited to be a specialized method considering we have many targets beyond the 30 yard mark requiring a bit more precision than instinct. But Churchill is a highly enjoyable shooting method and it does have its applications. You won’t be disappointed if you use it sparingly and on the right presentations. Knowing how to use it just might save that long run as you walk onto the last field. You never know……….   

To review the full article please visit:  http://www.paragonschool.com/sporting-clays-tip-02-2009.html 

\”Shooting Methods – Wise Choices – 3 of 4\” is Part 4 of an ongoing series of tips on shooting methods.  Over the next few months, each month we will focus on one method, why and where you might want to use it, and the strengths and weaknesses of each method.

 View The Sporting Clays Tips Index



WELDON

Jamaal H asked:


I had a good idea that was passed along to me. I don’t know if I am cut out to stay behind a desk all day. I want to be able to do things and travel. I came up with a concept to become a science teacher because I love science and I am able to work well with people. I’ve played soccer ever since I was 5 all the way thru college. I was wondering how do i become a teacher although I have an management information systems degree.? Pointers pleasE thanks

STACEY

Darren Ferguson asked:


In the past most little kids want to be a banker, an astronaut, a veterinarian, or even a professional athlete when they grow up, not many children look at the rest of their life and say “hey I want to be a teacher one day”. Well, the world is changing and those children who once said that are now beginning to graduate from college with teaching degrees. People’s views about teaching have changed dramatically from what they used to be to what they are now, teachers are also beginning to have the freedom to teach what they want to teach which many teachers love. Although there are guidelines that every teacher has to follow many teachers now are allowed to go within those guidelines and pick and chose from topics to teach to their students.

One of the places where this is possible is in Georgia.  A teacher with a Georgia teacher certification is able to pick what they want to teach their class within reason. Although there are always laws governing teachers, most teachers know what is allowed and what isn’t allowed. In order to get a Georgia teacher certification there are many steps that teachers have to go through that is comprised of exams, classes, and prevention classes in order to make the teaches as knowledgeable as possible about all aspects of the class room. One of the cool things about these classes necessary for a Georgia teacher certification is that for some of the mandatory classes it is required for the student to student teach and observe students in a classroom so that they get a good idea as to how a classroom is run, this is normally done by splitting a semester into two halves, during the first one a student will observe a younger class and in the second half a student will observe an older class.

This is very helpful for the students because instead of having to guess at what age group they would want to teach they get to experience and teach it first hand. This real life experience is very beneficial for students who are going into the teaching field, and luckily this is a requirement in most teaching programs. It is through these observations and classes that students learn what is appropriate as far as dressing, and talking about during a classroom setting, because you are molding young minds when you are teaching you have to watch what you say at all times. Young children are listening to everything you say when you are teaching, even if you don’t think they are, so it is very important to use classroom language when you are with young children this means no swearing, cussing, or discussing inappropriate things.



FREDRICK

Ceeelii. asked:


i want to know how a pre-kinder teacher aid can become a teacher. My mom has been a teacher aid for about 8 years and needs to know about any possible ways to become a teacher without having to go all 4 years. are there any programs? how do u start?

HORACE

Just teh fag asked:


Or from teacher to guidance counselor? I’m only 16, but I’m quite interested in pursuing a career as a teacher. I’m not sure I want to be one for the rest of my life, though? I want to move, but still in an educational career. What does it take for them to move up, at least to something like a Chairholder.

KELLY

Patricia Hawke asked:


A long time ago, kids went to school in a one-room schoolhouse. Kids ranged in age from around 7 to 16, and were all taught by the same teacher. In the cities, schools were mostly run by religious organizations or sometimes the town’s city council took over the responsibility of educating the young people.

As our population has increased, the need for more teachers and more classrooms and even more school buildings has grown exponentially. Nowhere is that more evident than in Los Angeles Schools.

Los Angeles Schools have seen a population explosion over the past few years. Higher birthrates as well as new residents moving to the city have led to Los Angeles Schools that are operating way over capacity. The overflow of students is spilling into portable classrooms, and at many Los Angeles Schools children share deteriorating bathrooms, a single eating area and an overcrowded playground.

Faced with the increasing challenge of getting Los Angeles Public Schools kids to lunch around lunchtime and making sure they are getting enough physical exercise throughout out the school day, Los Angeles Schools principals find themselves forced to cut special programs.

Another problem Los Angeles Schools are facing due to overcrowding is that schools don’t have to capacity to house all those extra kids. Some Los Angeles Schools have a student population that is at least three times the size the building was designed to serve.

Because of these larger class sizes in the Los Angeles Schools, principals are finding that they also lack the necessary teachers needed to accommodate them. Other problems Los Angeles Schools students are facing in the classroom is that they can’t get the proper attention they need from their teachers. Needing to spend a lot more time on discipline, teachers can’t always get to each and everyone of their students each and every day. Los Angeles Schools teachers also have more papers to grade and more parents to conference with.

According to recent studies, being in an overcrowded class means that kids are performing at a lower achievement rate than they would in a normal-sized or even small-sized classroom. Kids that need help from their teacher may need to wait a long time before the teacher can get to them, since he or she is most likely working with another student at the time. This empty time can lead to bullying, disruptive behavior, or other nonproductive activities.

Some Los Angeles Schools teachers are reacting to the problems of overcrowding with morning demonstrations against the rising class sizes. They have been outside their school picketing for a few minutes each morning before class begins. They want to open the public’s eyes to the fact that having too many kids in one class makes it nearly impossible to give each student the attention they deserve.

The teachers say that having too many students in one class makes it harder for them to spend enough time with each. They have been holding picket signs outside of the school this week for a few minutes before classes begin.

Overcrowding is definitely a big problem for Los Angeles Schools.



LYNN

The Zolt asked:


 

When learning to dance having a great dance teacher to guide you can help enormously with the initial difficulties of getting around your feet.

Every person has their own preferences in learning styles but here are some handy things to consider when looking for a dance teacher:

1. WORD OF MOUTH: A talented and naturally gifted dance teacher will have loyal students who will only have good things to say about them.

2. DANCE ABILITY: Depending on the style of dance you are learning, it may be helpful to have a teacher who is good at what they do. Although a great dancer doesn’t necessarily mean a good teacher, there are certain things and tweaks in technique that can only be modelled from a great dancer.

3. CREDITS: If you are looking to go into a specific career path in dance, a teacher with a background in that area can guide you and advise you appropriately.

4. PATIENCE: Especially important when beginning.

5. CARE: A teacher that cares about you and their class really shows in the progress of students, as opposed to a dancer doing it just for the money.

6. CONNECTION: It helps if you like your teacher, of course sometimes like parents a strict teacher is sometimes the best one.

7. ENVIRONMENT: Do you learn best in a strict, professional environment or a more relaxed class atmosphere?

It’s also important not to be put off on occasions when the teacher may be right for you. Sometimes a very good dance teacher will push students and teach hard routines or techniques. Though these may not be the most enjoyable, what you learn from these teachers can help you the most.

At the end of the day you are the best person to judge the right dance class and dance teacher for you, don’t be afraid to try a few though!

 



JULIO