Aug
31
Baby, Children, School Humour; Parenting, Teaching Jokes
Filed Under Humor | Comments Off
Eren asked:
BABY AND KIDS JOKES, PARENTING AND TEACHING, SCHOOL CHILDREN AND FAMILY HUMOR
(Based on author’s site www.geocities.com/chlsch)
Teaching is sometimes fun because of boy or girl, kids humor; family and parenting humor are mostly baby or kid, children jokes: funny kids jokes are often humorous parenting, teaching jokes.
One of the popular school pupils’ jokes is this: “Oh,” replied the school kid, asked if he found the semester examinations easy, “the questions were easy, all right; but the answers were so difficult!”
Kids humour is seen, also, in teaching children grammar: It was nearly the end of the school term, and it was obvious to a teacher that one of his young pupils still could not tell the difference between ‘went’ and ‘gone’ -she kept saying “I have went home.” The teacher asked the girl to stay behind and write fifty times ‘I have gone home’. She did, and added a note: “I have written fifty times ‘I have gone home’ and I have went home.”
In teaching and parenting, children interpret and tell! A teacher sent this note to the parents of the children in her class: “If you don’t believe everything that your children say that happened in class, then I won’t believe everything that they say that happened at home.”
Babies know little -most baby jokes are parent humour or wit: Remarked, “Isn’t your baby rather small..?” a teenage mother commented, “Well, I have only been married three months…”
Boy humour can indicate a schoolboy’s circumstances: “If you had a Dollar in one pocket,” asked the school teacher “and two in the other, of your coat,” “what would that be..?” A boy answered, “Someone else’s coat, Miss….”
Never enough pocket money influences girl humour too: “I knew all the time,” said one of the girls to her friends in a science class, “that the Pound coin would not dissolve in that chemical solution…” Asked how she knew, the *********** explained: “Well, if it was going to, the teacher would have used a penny coin, wouldn’t he..!?”
Parenting humour has a humorous reality for all mothers: A loved mother becomes a fallen woman when she returns home from shopping without any toys.
Children jokes and family humour often involve mothers: Asked if she said her prayers before she ate, a child replied: “No; my mother’s cooking isn’t that bad.”
Teaching is often fun with children’s funny assumptions: A school kid thought Joan of Arc was Noah’s wife.
Teaching and school kids jokes use nouns versus pronouns too: A school kid, when asked by the class teacher who invented the radio, replied: “Macaroni.”
Many baby jokes and parenting humour are based on names: A couple’s friend, upon being told that the expecting parents were considering naming their baby ‘Pat’, remarked “Pooh.. every ‘Tom, Dick, and Harry’ (John and Jane Doe) is called that.”
School humour and children jokes use kids’ innocence: Asked by his teacher why he was late, a child said that he saw a road sign on the way which read: ‘Go Slow!’
Kids are clever, the anecdotes of a hailed teacher (the late Orhan Seyfi Ari) tells of his: He forbade his youngest son, then a child, from going out without asking him for a period of time ~the child cleverly picked his time, whenever his father had a siesta, always with an excuse to justify it, woke him up to ask if he could pop out!
This is so in family humour also, as seen in family jokes: A teacher having asked the class to say a few words about someone who they had made happy, one of the children told about his aunt who he spent the weekend with and when he left was happy.
Parenting humour does not, always, include kids humour: In a university parenting research project to get academic data on how many parents knew where their children were, many of the telephone calls were answered by children who did not know where their parents were.
In kid jokes children’s vocabulary adds to kids humour: After teaching about the dark ages, and having told children of the many knights they had then, a teacher tested the class by asking why the dark ages were called so -a child answered: “Because they had many nights.”
Word meanings can be used, as in this university humour: “I am taking medicine at university,” said the student; his friend asked, “Is it doing you any good?”
Wordplay can be less direct, as in this college humour: Student humour defines ‘college’ with wit, as a fountain of knowledge where one quenches one’s thirst.
College jokes can be rather harsh also on teaching staff: The difference between good and bad lecturers is a nap.
Unlike college jokes, school jokes treat teachers gently: When a member of the teaching staff announced that she was going to marry the school caretaker, the head teacher remarked to other teachers: “He swept her off her feet…”
School jokes sometimes are about schools themselves: A humorous traffic sign put up by a school was this: ‘Use your eyes! Save the pupils!’
In parenting humour and kid jokes children are innocent: A school kid proudly showed his parents a gold star his teacher gave him -asked what it was for he explained that they all had to rest, and he rested best.
University humour allows ridicule as do high school and college humor: In a law school mock trial the student asked: “When you walked into the bar, did you clearly see Mr. A and Mr. B, together?”; and, answered affirmatively, continued: “And, where were you, at the time?”
In kids jokes, be it boy humour or girl humour, children are never stupid; in parenting, are cute: A bad report of a kid from his teacher upset his parents; “Why am I so?” asked the kid, “Is it my environment or is it hereditary?”
The author has a website at: http://www.geocities.com.com/eoa_uk
TOBY
BABY AND KIDS JOKES, PARENTING AND TEACHING, SCHOOL CHILDREN AND FAMILY HUMOR
(Based on author’s site www.geocities.com/chlsch)
Teaching is sometimes fun because of boy or girl, kids humor; family and parenting humor are mostly baby or kid, children jokes: funny kids jokes are often humorous parenting, teaching jokes.
One of the popular school pupils’ jokes is this: “Oh,” replied the school kid, asked if he found the semester examinations easy, “the questions were easy, all right; but the answers were so difficult!”
Kids humour is seen, also, in teaching children grammar: It was nearly the end of the school term, and it was obvious to a teacher that one of his young pupils still could not tell the difference between ‘went’ and ‘gone’ -she kept saying “I have went home.” The teacher asked the girl to stay behind and write fifty times ‘I have gone home’. She did, and added a note: “I have written fifty times ‘I have gone home’ and I have went home.”
In teaching and parenting, children interpret and tell! A teacher sent this note to the parents of the children in her class: “If you don’t believe everything that your children say that happened in class, then I won’t believe everything that they say that happened at home.”
Babies know little -most baby jokes are parent humour or wit: Remarked, “Isn’t your baby rather small..?” a teenage mother commented, “Well, I have only been married three months…”
Boy humour can indicate a schoolboy’s circumstances: “If you had a Dollar in one pocket,” asked the school teacher “and two in the other, of your coat,” “what would that be..?” A boy answered, “Someone else’s coat, Miss….”
Never enough pocket money influences girl humour too: “I knew all the time,” said one of the girls to her friends in a science class, “that the Pound coin would not dissolve in that chemical solution…” Asked how she knew, the *********** explained: “Well, if it was going to, the teacher would have used a penny coin, wouldn’t he..!?”
Parenting humour has a humorous reality for all mothers: A loved mother becomes a fallen woman when she returns home from shopping without any toys.
Children jokes and family humour often involve mothers: Asked if she said her prayers before she ate, a child replied: “No; my mother’s cooking isn’t that bad.”
___________________________________________________________________
Teaching is often fun with children’s funny assumptions: A school kid thought Joan of Arc was Noah’s wife.
Teaching and school kids jokes use nouns versus pronouns too: A school kid, when asked by the class teacher who invented the radio, replied: “Macaroni.”
Many baby jokes and parenting humour are based on names: A couple’s friend, upon being told that the expecting parents were considering naming their baby ‘Pat’, remarked “Pooh.. every ‘Tom, Dick, and Harry’ (John and Jane Doe) is called that.”
School humour and children jokes use kids’ innocence: Asked by his teacher why he was late, a child said that he saw a road sign on the way which read: ‘Go Slow!’
Kids are clever, the anecdotes of a hailed teacher (the late Orhan Seyfi Ari) tells of his: He forbade his youngest son, then a child, from going out without asking him for a period of time ~the child cleverly picked his time, whenever his father had a siesta, always with an excuse to justify it, woke him up to ask if he could pop out!
This is so in family humour also, as seen in family jokes: A teacher having asked the class to say a few words about someone who they had made happy, one of the children told about his aunt who he spent the weekend with and when he left was happy.
Parenting humour does not, always, include kids humour: In a university parenting research project to get academic data on how many parents knew where their children were, many of the telephone calls were answered by children who did not know where their parents were.
In kid jokes children’s vocabulary adds to kids humour: After teaching about the dark ages, and having told children of the many knights they had then, a teacher tested the class by asking why the dark ages were called so -a child answered: “Because they had many nights.”
Word meanings can be used, as in this university humour: “I am taking medicine at university,” said the student; his friend asked, “Is it doing you any good?”
Wordplay can be less direct, as in this college humour: Student humour defines ‘college’ with wit, as a fountain of knowledge where one quenches one’s thirst.
College jokes can be rather harsh also on teaching staff: The difference between good and bad lecturers is a nap.
Unlike college jokes, school jokes treat teachers gently: When a member of the teaching staff announced that she was going to marry the school caretaker, the head teacher remarked to other teachers: “He swept her off her feet…”
School jokes sometimes are about schools themselves: A humorous traffic sign put up by a school was this: ‘Use your eyes! Save the pupils!’
In parenting humour and kid jokes children are innocent: A school kid proudly showed his parents a gold star his teacher gave him -asked what it was for he explained that they all had to rest, and he rested best.
University humour allows ridicule as do high school and college humor: In a law school mock trial the student asked: “When you walked into the bar, did you clearly see Mr. A and Mr. B, together?”; and, answered affirmatively, continued: “And, where were you, at the time?”
In kids jokes, be it boy humour or girl humour, children are never stupid; in parenting, are cute: A bad report of a kid from his teacher upset his parents; “Why am I so?” asked the kid, “Is it my environment or is it hereditary?”
The author has a website at: http://www.geocities.com.com/eoa_uk
TOBY
Aug
7
Teaching and School Humour, Teacher and Education Jokes
Filed Under Humor | Comments Off
Eren asked:
FUNNY TEACHER AND EDUCATION JOKES & CLEAN CLASSROOM, STUDENT, SCHOOL TEACHING HUMOR.
(Based on author’s site www.geocities.com/tchjks)
“The opposite of minimum?” asked the teacher. Answered the primary school girl, “mini dad.”
“What did the king do when he came to the throne?” asked the school teacher; many a little hand went up in the classroom; one of the pupils answered: “He sat down.”
A little school boy told his mother that his class teacher praised him for giving a better answer to the question “How many legs does a chicken have?” than all of the other children in the class. “What was your answer?” asked his mother, and the school boy repeated it: “Three!” -his was the nearest answer to the teacher’s questions.
“How many children in the family?” the teacher asked a school child; the answer was: “Me and my two sisters, Miss., and a baby who is turning out to be a boy.”
A music teacher jot down in his notebook this about one his pupils: “B-flat when his ear twisted.”
The school boys and girls were growing up, so their classroom teacher explained ‘the birds and the bees’ -”Oh,” said one of the pupils, “Like humans, then…”
When the school child began “I is…” it wasn’t funny! It didn’t amuse the teacher! “How many times must I teach it - ‘I am’ it is, ‘I.. am..’-not ‘I is’!.. Now use the word ‘I’ in a sentence, and say it so!” The little pupil, obeying the teacher’s instruction, looked at her alphabet and said: “‘I’.. am.. the letter after ‘H’!”
“O-oh!” cheered a little school girl, having got back her first marked homework from the class teacher, and bragged to her school friends “My homework’s got me a kiss from my teacher -he put a big red ‘X’ on it!”
When there was a suspicious pool of water on the floor of the classroom, and the next day also, and the day after, the teachers decided that it must stop. “Let’s all shut our eyes,” the class teacher instructed, “and let child responsible reveal himself and write it on the blackboard!” A child was heard tiptoeing to the blackboard, writing something, and then back. The teacher said “Let’s open our eyes, now, children, and read it.” There was now one more pool of water on the floor of the classroom -the writing on the board read: “I have relieved myself.”
“Where was the Declaration of Independence signed..?” asked the teacher. “Please, Miss. …” went up a child’s hand, “It was signed at the bottom.”
The boy went to school early for his first *** education class, to sit in the front row. When the boy returned from school, his parents asked how it was. “Ha!” said the schoolboy, “It was all theory!”
A teacher of religious education made this humorous entry in his notebook about one of the students: “This one’s going to hell!”
One of the anecdotes of teacher the late Orhan Seyfi Ari is about this: Having had occasion to give a teenage school kid a leaflet entitled ‘Smoking Kills Early’, a few days later he was given by the pupil a newspaper clipping reporting the death of an elderly celebrity which mentioned that he was a smoker.
“Give me a noun” said the teacher. “Door” answered a student. She asked another: “Give me another noun…” The other replied: “Another door.”
Having rapped the pupils for some graffiti on the blackboard, the school teacher proceeded to teach about Shakespeare and then, in the course of testing the class, asked one of the pupils: “Who wrote ‘Romeo and Juliet’..?” The pupil, miles away, responded, “It wasn’t me, Miss., I didn’t, honest!..”
(Told of that funny reply, his father saw the humour of it: “Ho-ho-ho, and all the time, he probably had!”)
“Have you brothers or sisters likely to attend this school?” asked one of the new students the head teacher; told “No,” he sighed, “Thank Goodness!”
An teacher, explaining the numbers, asked: “Give me number,” was given ‘45′ and he wrote it down as 54, “another,” said the teacher and wrote that too in reverse as 21, and “another…”; ‘11′ shouted a student, “now, mess with that, then, teach.!..”
The religious education teacher told the young pupils about Heaven, and asked who wanted to go there; “I’d like to, Miss.,” said one of the pupils, “but mum said I must come straight home after school…”
Schoolchildren in their cub scout uniforms, seen arguing with an elderly lady explained: they were trying, true to their scouts master’s teaching, to help her across the street, but she didn’t want to cross it!
The author has a website at: http://www.geocities.com/eoa_uk
ISIAH
FUNNY TEACHER AND EDUCATION JOKES & CLEAN CLASSROOM, STUDENT, SCHOOL TEACHING HUMOR.
(Based on author’s site www.geocities.com/tchjks)
___________________________________________________________________
“The opposite of minimum?” asked the teacher. Answered the primary school girl, “mini dad.”
“What did the king do when he came to the throne?” asked the school teacher; many a little hand went up in the classroom; one of the pupils answered: “He sat down.”
A little school boy told his mother that his class teacher praised him for giving a better answer to the question “How many legs does a chicken have?” than all of the other children in the class. “What was your answer?” asked his mother, and the school boy repeated it: “Three!” -his was the nearest answer to the teacher’s questions.
“How many children in the family?” the teacher asked a school child; the answer was: “Me and my two sisters, Miss., and a baby who is turning out to be a boy.”
A music teacher jot down in his notebook this about one his pupils: “B-flat when his ear twisted.”
The school boys and girls were growing up, so their classroom teacher explained ‘the birds and the bees’ -”Oh,” said one of the pupils, “Like humans, then…”
When the school child began “I is…” it wasn’t funny! It didn’t amuse the teacher! “How many times must I teach it - ‘I am’ it is, ‘I.. am..’-not ‘I is’!.. Now use the word ‘I’ in a sentence, and say it so!” The little pupil, obeying the teacher’s instruction, looked at her alphabet and said: “‘I’.. am.. the letter after ‘H’!”
“O-oh!” cheered a little school girl, having got back her first marked homework from the class teacher, and bragged to her school friends “My homework’s got me a kiss from my teacher -he put a big red ‘X’ on it!”
When there was a suspicious pool of water on the floor of the classroom, and the next day also, and the day after, the teachers decided that it must stop. “Let’s all shut our eyes,” the class teacher instructed, “and let child responsible reveal himself and write it on the blackboard!” A child was heard tiptoeing to the blackboard, writing something, and then back. The teacher said “Let’s open our eyes, now, children, and read it.” There was now one more pool of water on the floor of the classroom -the writing on the board read: “I have relieved myself.”
“Where was the Declaration of Independence signed..?” asked the teacher. “Please, Miss. …” went up a child’s hand, “It was signed at the bottom.”
The boy went to school early for his first *** education class, to sit in the front row. When the boy returned from school, his parents asked how it was. “Ha!” said the schoolboy, “It was all theory!”
A teacher of religious education made this humorous entry in his notebook about one of the students: “This one’s going to hell!”
One of the anecdotes of teacher the late Orhan Seyfi Ari is about this: Having had occasion to give a teenage school kid a leaflet entitled ‘Smoking Kills Early’, a few days later he was given by the pupil a newspaper clipping reporting the death of an elderly celebrity which mentioned that he was a smoker.
“Give me a noun” said the teacher. “Door” answered a student. She asked another: “Give me another noun…” The other replied: “Another door.”
Having rapped the pupils for some graffiti on the blackboard, the school teacher proceeded to teach about Shakespeare and then, in the course of testing the class, asked one of the pupils: “Who wrote ‘Romeo and Juliet’..?” The pupil, miles away, responded, “It wasn’t me, Miss., I didn’t, honest!..”
(Told of that funny reply, his father saw the humour of it: “Ho-ho-ho, and all the time, he probably had!”)
“Have you brothers or sisters likely to attend this school?” asked one of the new students the head teacher; told “No,” he sighed, “Thank Goodness!”
An teacher, explaining the numbers, asked: “Give me number,” was given ‘45′ and he wrote it down as 54, “another,” said the teacher and wrote that too in reverse as 21, and “another…”; ‘11′ shouted a student, “now, mess with that, then, teach.!..”
The religious education teacher told the young pupils about Heaven, and asked who wanted to go there; “I’d like to, Miss.,” said one of the pupils, “but mum said I must come straight home after school…”
Schoolchildren in their cub scout uniforms, seen arguing with an elderly lady explained: they were trying, true to their scouts master’s teaching, to help her across the street, but she didn’t want to cross it!
The author has a website at: http://www.geocities.com/eoa_uk
ISIAH